{"id":872,"date":"2011-08-15T05:00:40","date_gmt":"2011-08-15T05:00:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/mbear.ca\/?p=872"},"modified":"2017-05-31T03:21:02","modified_gmt":"2017-05-31T03:21:02","slug":"872","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/?p=872","title":{"rendered":"Good-byes"},"content":{"rendered":"

The good-byes are coming to a close.\u00a0 We\u2019ve spent the last six weeks with family and friends and somehow, the connections have been more intense and full of flavor than I could have ever imagined.\u00a0 Like a shot of great\u00a0tequila without the margarita mix.\u00a0 Straight up. \u00a0No rocks.\u00a0 The very idea of this new adventure McDean and I are going on\u00a0seems to add a slow burning intensity to\u00a0the air between us as we talk about it.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re going to Mexico?!\u00a0 To live?\u00a0 Permanently?!\u00a0 Wow?!\u00a0 I wish I were that brave! \u00a0What a fantastic adventure!!\u00a0 I\u2019m so jealous!!\u00a0 I wish I could just pick up and go do that!!\u201d\u00a0 And a far away look comes into their eyes as they envision getting on a plane and flying off to an adventure full of surprises and no responsibilities.\u00a0 At least the ones they\u2019re familiar with.<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n

Open-ended adventures are intoxicating as well as terrifying. No question about it. \u00a0Just the idea of it seems to capture people’s imagination. \u00a0<\/em>But there\u2019s something comforting to me in at least\u00a0<\/em>knowing where the next step is going to be.\u00a0 <\/em><\/p>\n

Mexico. \u00a0Just the name conjures up visions of warm, welcoming people, a slower, more laid back lifestyle, time to discover, to write, to think, to immerse myself in living instead of in a job. \u00a0And after a lot of time with Mrs. Google, reading and talking with people who are more experienced travelers than we are, we\u2019ve settled on the lakeside village of Ajijic, just thirty minutes south of Guadalajara.\u00a0 Now we can hardly wait to get there and start exploring. Knowing that we\u2019re leaving the country somehow changes the flavor of the good-byes, too.<\/em><\/p>\n

Sitting with my mom out on the summer porch in the shade, there\u2019s such a sweetness in connecting with her. \u00a0As if I\u2019m somehow connecting with a deep, intimate part of myself.\u00a0 Open, honest, no-holds-barred talks with the one who knows me in a way no other human does. She\u2019s my mom.\u00a0 It feels really good to say that, and there’s an almost unbearable sweetness in being able to look her in the eyes when I say, \u201cI really love you, Mom.\u201d<\/em><\/em><\/p>\n

During this six week odyssey I\u2019ve learned wheelbarrows full of things about family and close friends, and about the ties that hold us together.\u00a0 Things that are part of the bones of our lives.<\/em><\/p>\n

One of my brothers, whom I hadn\u2019t seen in years, gave me a wakeup call as only a brother can.\u00a0 As we were talking, the first words out of my mouth were, \u201cWow, I\u2019ve missed you!!\u00a0 I think about you all the time!\u201d\u00a0 He looked at me with that brutally honest, loving way he has and said, \u201cGeeze, sis.\u00a0 When did you get this shallow?\u00a0 If you thought of me all the time it wouldn\u2019t have been over two years since we\u2019ve talked.\u201d\u00a0 He was very serious.\u00a0 And he was right.<\/em><\/p>\n

It hit me like a gut punch how much I\u2019ve absorbed, almost into my DNA, the PR\/Market Speak I\u2019ve learned to be so good at in my career for so many years.\u00a0 A PR professional I used to know prided herself in saying, \u201cNever let the truth get in the way of a good story.\u201d\u00a0 I was always repulsed when I heard her say it, and vowed I would never do that. \u00a0Not ever. \u00a0If it\u2019s not honest, I don\u2019t want to be part of it.\u00a0 My brother gave me a wakeup call on that vow. I\u2019ve got a lot more detoxing to do than I realized.\u00a0 Thank goodness for little brothers.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

What will the distance of living in another country do to all of these connections? \u00a0Most of it depends on me, I know.\u00a0 On how much time I invest in keeping the connections alive and vital.\u00a0 It takes that no matter whether it\u2019s another country or next door.\u00a0 The power we have in creating our own reality doesn\u2019t change because of any physical boundaries.\u00a0 It\u2019s other boundaries \u2013 ones we erect.\u00a0 Our hunger for privacy, wanting to look good when we\u2019re actually feeling vulnerable or foolish. To be respected, if nothing else, for our hard work and accomplishments when, sometimes, we feel unacceptable, not good enough. \u00a0Maybe even admired a little.\u00a0 Just a little.\u00a0 What insecurities we have\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I heard a saying just after my divorce, before I met McDean.\u00a0 \u201cLiving well is the best revenge.\u201d\u00a0 Personally, I think revenge is a waste of life, but I do want to live well.\u00a0 What does that mean? \u00a0What does it look like? \u00a0Living well.\u00a0 Gratefully, we each get to choose what that means and looks like for us.\u00a0 We usually don\u2019t have much of a clue about that power though – its possibilities, nor its implications.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

I knew that\u2026\u00a0 When did I forget?\u00a0 When did I get so shallow?\u00a0 Wake up calls. I count on them.\u00a0 Thanks, little bro\u2019.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The good-byes are coming to a close.\u00a0 We\u2019ve spent the last six weeks with family and friends and somehow, the connections have been more intense and full of flavor than I could have ever imagined.\u00a0 Like a shot of great\u00a0tequila…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":64,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-872","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/872","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=872"}],"version-history":[{"count":24,"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/872\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1250,"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/872\/revisions\/1250"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/64"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=872"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=872"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mbear.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=872"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}